To Know My Name.

If one were to understand another, they must start with their name. If my name were Mr Ihavenoname then I would be lying for it is nameology that is the name that gives names. Sometimes, when I think about a name too long it becomes no longer a name, but rather a series of phonemes smashed together to form a semblance of meaning. A person cannot be defined by a name, because they have depth to their character.

Names are truly unreliable. Let's say that I went into a coma and forgot everything, how would I find my name again? When I wake up in the bed I ask the doctor. He says my name is Disposition, but I can't know if he is lying. How do I know other people who aren't known as well as close family members real people and not just a fear of mine expressed in a fleshy body with organs that intakes food, and then deficates or vomits?

I decide to ask my dad, he tells me my name is Disposition, and I say, "That's not even a real name How do I know that you aren't just playing a joke on me, or rather, trying to change my identity to hide my former self?" As Deleuze and Guattari quote Antonin Artaud, "I don't believe in father / in mother, / got no / papamummy" You might notice upon closer inspection that I enjoy misusing what people write for my own intentions.

I would like to introduce the first character. Her name is Laura McCawn and she recently was in post-normative psychosis. She was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, but was later found to fit the DSM-V criteria of Schizotypal personality disorder better. She was prescribed anti-psychotics by her psychiatrist. The anti-psychotics helped mitigate some of the symptoms although one day she thought about gender for a little too long and soon the idea morphed into a disgusting caricature of what it used to be. She began to do this to everything and everyone. Soon she couldn't stand seeing her own feet and hands and then her friends. Her name she rejects, now she embraces our title of Saint Disposition. As Maynard says in Lateralus "overthinking, overanalyzing, seperates the body from the mind." As Terry would say "paralysis by analysis" and "idleness is the beginning of all psychoanalysis."